Controlling Our Challenges
IN CHARGE OF OUR LIFE, BUSINESS AND CAREER
As a professional life and business coach I often sea people struggle to maintain some semblance of control over their lives both personally and professionally.
I hear comments like: “My business is running me…!” or “I can't seem to manage my time...” or “I don’t have control over what matters...”
The first question I usually ask is: "What are you in control of?" Amazingly, the response is often great silence, followed by another list of what is out of control!
When I ask: "Of all people in your life, whom do you have complete control over?" This is when the light comes on, their voice lightens up and they realize that the only thing they can have control over is themselves, their thoughts, consequently their feelings and actions.
Let's look at ourselves for a moment. What difference can we make in our lives and the lives of others - if we use two simple tools to exercise control:
# 1 Tool “CHOICE”
It takes just as much effort to choose to be happy as it does to be sad. We can choose our friends, how we spend our time, money, what risks we take and what is important to us. We can choose to be giving or taking, how to act or react and… yes we do have a choice whether to sabotage ourselves or practice extreme self-care in everything we do.
Of course there are learning curves for everything in life, but as we choose different actions and reactions, new and more helpful habits are being established. Choice is a wonderful gift when remembered to be used.
I suggest that you consider the responsibility and also the impact that your choices have on you and the world around you. If you do not like the result of your choices, there is usually a next time and you can choose differently!
# 2 Tool “HABIT”
To explain the second tool of control, I want to share a quote with you that I obtained from the wonderful book by John C. Maxwell entitled "Thinking For a Change". The quote is from an unknown source but it resonated with me so I felt it was worth including in its entirety:
"I am your constant companion. I am your greatest helper or heaviest burden. I will push you onward or drag you down to failure. I am completely at your command. Half of the things you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly. I am easily managed - you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done and after a few lessons I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great men; and alas, of all great failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures. I am not a machine, though I work with all the precision of a machine plus the intelligence of a man. You may run me for profit or run me for ruin - it makes no difference to me. Take me, train me, be firm with me, and I will place the world at your feet. Be easy with me and I will destroy you. Who am I? I am a habit!"
Yes, the second tool is our ability to make or break a habit.
We all have habits that support and nourish or hinder and drain us. I bet you can think of one bad habit, be it big or small, that if removed would have a deeper impact on the quality of your life, business, relationship or career.
Which habit are you ready to break today?
How would a healthy and supportive habit look like instead?
What impact would this have on your life, career, relationship, business or the life of others?
It takes 3 weeks of numerous repetitions to establish a new habit. I offer this process as a method to change habits:
- Create Clarity around what you want the new habit to be.
- Understand the benefits of creating this habit, what positive things it will support and what pain it will eradicate.
- Build Awareness about when you want the habit to kick in.
- Create Reminders for yourself.
- Give yourself room for the new habit to form and strengthen. If you forget to use it, maintain awareness and put some stopgaps in place. Just like building any muscle, Repetition is the key to success!
- Define how you measure Success and when you know that you reached your goal.
COACHE’S CHALLENGE
Take back control over some areas in your life.
Employ the tools you have been given. Try the process of:
Clarity, Understanding, Awareness, Reminders, Repetition and Success and make your habits work for you!
Take Action Now!
Ready to make a positive change in your life or at work? Looking for reinforcement in achieving your goals? Not sure if a life coach is for you? Please contact me, Coach Regina, for an absolutely free consultation.
Phone: 321-246-7066 | e-mail: regina@mypersonalitycoach.com